5 Steps to Protect Yourself from Outside Influences & Transform Negativity

One of the questions I often hear from clients is “how do I protect myself from outside influences?”. For most of them, their first line of defence is to throw up some kind of wall, barrier, bubble of protection, or another variation on this theme. In certain situations, this can make a lot of sense – particularly when the attack is sudden or violent, and immediate defence is necessary. In the long term however, there are a number of problems with this approach that make it an ineffective solution:

1. Barriers do double duty. They keep things out, but they also keep things in. Whenever we put up barriers, we confine ourselves to the same extent that we block unwanted energy or attention.

2. Barriers take a lot of work to maintain. Every ounce of effort we put into creating & maintaining barriers is an ounce of effort we take away from creating & maintaining something else.

3. Living a walled-up life is living a life of fear. Fear can be useful as a short-term, immediate response, but it is toxic as a long-term condition. Even though you may not feel acutely afraid all the time – inherent in the idea that we need to protect ourselves from something is the idea that we are either under attack, or could be. This translates to living in perpetual “fight, flight or freeze” mode – even if only on a subtle level.

4. Blocking something out, does not change the nature of that thing; nor does it cause that thing to cease to exist. What it does do is create a greater challenge, instigate frustration, inflate rage, perpetuate conflict, and inspire a survival response –  which can in turn, cause that thing to strengthen itself further in its efforts to penetrate our defences.

5. It is impossible to communicate with, embrace, transform, resolve or heal a relationship from within the confines of a closed-off, sealed & isolated cell. Make no mistake. If you are under attack, you are in relationship with whatever is attacking you. Even with the strongest defences in place, this relationship will continue until you transform it into something else. Plus, you will continue to suffer the effects of living in fear.


First, if you need to defend yourself quickly & immediately, and a barrier seems like a good option – go for it! Just don’t leave it at that, or make barriers your default method for dealing with conflict or attack.